Metamorphosis 1 — Blattodea

from Pastel Hand Grenade by Max Knightley

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about

This was actually the first track I finished, as I recall! (Though I ended up having to rerecord the vocals... the microphone I was using at the time was kind of crap.)

lyrics

Ever since I can remember
I haven't been human quite right
And ever since I can remember
I've panicked and fled from the light
The darkness, you say, overwhelms you
That's precisely why I'm still down here
I know what you'll do if I leave to face you
But if you can't reach me I'll live without fear

So crush me, burn me
Smoke me out, and spurn me
I'm lower than dirt, I'm the scum of the earth
But I'll stay alive all the same

I've given you trouble and failure
Since I was just seven years old
Your fire burns hot even now, to this day
And by god, do I wish you'd grow cold!
You're convinced there's some brilliant potential
You'll draw out through your nagging and screams
No matter how I beg and I wail "just give up"
Well, I hope it lives up to your dreams

So crush me, burn me
Smoke me out, and spurn me
I'm lower than dirt, I'm the scum of the earth
But I'll stay alive all the same

And you still think you're owed an apology
For everything I'VE put YOU through
You still think you're owed an apology
Because I wouldn't bow down to you
Eleven years telling me it's for my good
This unceasing verbal war
I hope you don't think I still love you deep down
I pray that you've heard me like never before

So crush me, burn me
Smoke me out, and spurn me
I'm bloody and bruised, and it's all 'cause of you
But I'm still alive, all the same

credits

from Pastel Hand Grenade, released November 17, 2016

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Max Knightley Chicago, Illinois

Trans lesbian who makes punk, electronica, and music for video games. Stay angry, but keep your eyes open to the beauty of the world.

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