I've been working on this track in some capacity or another for years now. I think I may have started it back when I was working on my first album, back in college, actually.
It feels good to finally finish it. I hope you love it as much as I do.
lyrics
VERSE 1
She was built beneath the Pentagon inside a secret lab
the ultimate weapon of destruction
An engineering masterpiece, a modern-day Colossus of
titanium and fiberglass construction
But something 'bout the AI didn't quite go how they planned,
prioritizing romance over military might
She's got gatling guns and cannons and her missiles never miss
Bombs and lasers never faze her, but she overheats whenever she gets kissed
CHORUS
Gigantic robot girlfriend
she measures point two miles, my
Gigantic robot girlfriend
never fails to make me smile
Gigantic robot girlfriend!
I'm so glad we found each other
Gigantic robot girlfriend!
I could never tell you
just how much I love her
VERSE 2
She takes me out for coffee even though she doesn't drink
'cause she knows how much I love me a croissant
I taught her ballroom dancing and I help her host her parties
'cause she's actually quite the bon viva-va-vant
I'm saving up some money for a custom iron ring
(I can't afford the several tons of diamonds I would need)
I moved this last October to a room inside her hangar
And though it's still a challenge I know I'll figure out a way to...
raise a family with her.
CHORUS
Gigantic robot girlfriend
she measures point two miles, my
Gigantic robot girlfriend
never fails to make me smile
Gigantic robot girlfriend!
I'm so glad we found each other
Gigantic robot girlfriend!
I could never tell you
just how much I love her
Whoa-oh-oh
BRIDGE
I won't claim that we don't have any problems
We argue over chores and TV shows
It feels like half the time
I'm not at work, she's fighting supercrime
And we did, of course, get banned from Tokyo
(Edirne, Cairo, Nice and Boise, Idaho)
VERSE 3
One night, the G-men take a trip to kill or bring her in
her power far too useful to let slip
I plead and scream, but just a few have any second thoughts
the rest just move to tighten up their grip
She puts a damn good fight up, with nonlethal ordnance, too
As gentle as a kitten with a primed atomic claw
They finally turn tail, I'm almost calling it a win
But one last agent goes and slaps an EMP device straight on her chin
They leave, and mostly satisfied
she crashes to the ground
as static fills my vision and her eyes
I'm reaching out for words that can describe what's on my mind
But all that I can find is hows and whys
If this is where it ends, I think, it's how she'd want to go;
defiant, independent to the last -
I stop breathing for a second — her eyes flicker back to life —
I'm shaking as she tells me:
"I'm not dying before calling you my wife!"
CHORUS
Gigantic robot girlfriend!
Still soaring through the sky!
My gigantic robot girlfriend!
Our love will never die!
Gigantic robot girlfriend!
No one could ever beat her!
Gigantic robot girlfriend!
And I've never known
a woman any sweeter
Gigantic robot girlfriend
she measures point two miles, my
Gigantic robot girlfriend
never fails to make me smile
Gigantic robot girlfriend!
I'm so glad we found each other
Gigantic robot girlfriend!
I could never tell you
just how much I love her
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